Come On Harry, We Want to Say Good Night To You...
If you don't care about this, or tired of Harry, ignore this!
“Curiously lacking in self-awareness … For all that Harry comes across as sympathetic and vulnerable in parts, for all the deliciously gossipy bits…the book mostly feels like a long act of retribution … The title of the book is Spare, but Harry spares no one, least of all William… What save the book from being a long, entitled whingefest are the moments of genuine emotional intensity—and the gloriously bitchy insights into a family that is deeply, irretrievably weird … ”
–Jennifer O’Connell on Prince Harry’s Spare (The Irish Times)
I had the audiobook and ebook waiting for me from the New York Public Library on Tuesday morning and I finished it already! Listening to Harold’s (IYKYK) voice on the audiobook was also interesting- he’s not an actor and sometimes, his feelings come through pretty clearly. I have thoughts & opinions - both petty and serious, and some in between.
First things first though, I am a bit of. English monarchy nerd. I’m still blown away that a king wanted to marry his mistress and CREATED A TOTALLY NEW RELIGION THAT STILL EXISTS TO THIS DAY so he could get a divorce and marry her!!! Monarchy is shit and should be eliminated in the important ways, taxpayer money, heads of state, returning stolen lands, “gifts” from ill gotten ways (i.e. EMPIRE). And also they are damn fun to watch and comment on. That’s me. I contain multitudes.
Petty
He opens the book with a Faulkner quote (The past is never dead. It’s not even past) from brainyquote.com! He actually writes that this is where he got it from. Bless!
I grew up during Diana times - engagement, wedding, marriage, divorce, death - all of it. I am HERE for a new generation being reminded of how awful Camilla and Charles are - above and beyond being privileged monarchs and hope it ruins their coronation later this year. Absolutely!
Harry admits he wasn’t into school and books and that’s cool. His book clearly conveys a total lack of curiosity, in really anything, even things that impact him. His lack of curiosity in life, in his work, in the institution he represents and benefits from, and in the world, even for things he truly cares about like “Africa”, “elephants” and now “racism” is glaring.
I still DO NOT BELIEVE the story that Meghan never googled him. This has been the one fact they both continue to put out there that really just doesn’t ring true. PLEASE.
The PARODY “leaks” from the book before it actually came out were BRILLIANT
Serious
Truly glad he went to therapy and continues with it. For me the strongest parts of the book are when he talks about memory (the loss of it and how it can protect from and hide trauma and grief), grief and his reactions related to trauma and grief, even when it’s funny, it’s real and relatable. It’s truly heartbreaking that he believed she was in hiding rather than dead for so many years to cope.
It’s disappointing but not surprising that the UK Media and even the Crown are spinning this as “psychobabble” to diminish what good and thoughtful therapy can do for people in trauma and grief, and also for everyday pain and loss.
Prince Andrew is a pedophile. And there are actual serious people (and non serious ones) who have more issues with Meghan and Harry and their behavior than Andrew’s (*petty addition, Harry shares that Meghan thought Andrew was the Queen’s assistant when she first saw him because he was holding her purse for her and followed her out - LOL)
The book, thankfully, doesn’t try to do too much explaining of bias, racism and consequences of empire. He is not capable of these conversations even with a good ghostwriter. Unfortunately in his recent interviews, Harry is tasked with doing this and is not prepared for it. I support his anti bias/anti-racist journey, and I hope he continues on but he should not be talking about it unless truly prepared and he’s not! (Also maybe he and Meghan both can start a journey of self learning on colorism…some of the stuff she said in the Netflix documentary…whew!)
Related, when things came up around monarchy, empire and enslavement - all those challenging topics- he and his ghost writer were vague and didn’t even attempt to go there, and even tried to both sides some pretty clear cut issues.
The way he talks about Africa, his experiences at war, his ease of killing in war because it was like his video game console, and in particular the Ghurkas he fought with and knew as a royal are problematic and cringeworthy with no self-awareness.
It’s clear in his interviews, Meghan’s interviews, the Netflix documentary and the book that that they don’t want to hurt the Queen, but it’s also very clear in the book that she was active in this matter in so so many ways. In allowing her staff and family to do what they did, with the press, and more. As the head of the family and the “firm”, she is responsible whether Harry or Meghan want to say it out loud, and many of the stories, convey it.
The first section of the book was most engaging for me - his childhood and early adulthood - he was surprisingly honest about his choices and lifestyle.
The second section was mostly about his military career. I didn’t enjoy it for many of the reasons mentioned above, but it was telling. No real curiosity or real thinking about the wars he and his country were fighting, what it means to kill in war and very wrapped up in the 9-11 revenge fantasy.
The third section was short and about meeting Meghan and everything since and provided truly nothing new.
In Closing:
I hope they have a content life and figure out what they want to do and don’t do things that make us cringe, and also, they aren’t the saviors. They aren’t going to break the monarchy. In fact, according to Harry, they would have preferred it to remain in “service to the queen and country” and spend half the year out of the country!
